One of the things I see that prevents some women from getting what they want is a lack of confidence. I know, it can be freaking awful to get a knockback and super embarrassing!
I remember probably around three years ago there was this guy in my boxing class who I liked. I would also check him out when he was doing those jabs. Dude was fire (well to me anyway). One day I got to class early and so did he. There he was sitting at a table alone. I went over to him – now keep in mind I’m wearing no makeup, my glasses, a headscarf and my hat on top.
I thought fuck it, he sees me like this every week anyway. I simply said hi, took a seat and started talking to him (bold AF). Anyway, we got to know each other a bit and at least I finally knew his name! I think it was the following week, I thought I’m going to ask for his number – nothing wrong with a role reversal, I will straight up step to a man I’m feeling. After class, I left at the same time as him so we could speak outside.
Instead of jumping in asking for his number I was respectful and asked if he had a girlfriend. I will never forget the look on his face because it was one which was like “do I really have to be honest?” After he played out whatever he needed to in his head he said: “I do, but if I didn’t it would be a yes.”
Let me tell you…even though it wasn’t the answer I wanted, I felt so freaking proud that I took my shot with him, I felt powerful. I’m sharing this because in the worst-case scenario, you go after what you want and it doesn’t work out how you want it to or it’s a no. Who cares? Like seriously, are you prepared to just let opportunities pass you by? If the answer is yes, stop reading and close this tab. If the answer is no, keep on reading.
1. Step outside of your comfort zone as often as possible.
Break free from the norm, try something new. When we stay within our comfort zones, we don’t give ourselves room to grow. As ma guy, Drake said, “when was the last time you did something for the first time?” ‘Own It’ track.
2. If you find you compare yourself to others, please freaking stop that shit.
You will never be them and they will never be you. God created you with all your awesome uniqueness for a reason fall in love with yourself and if there is something you don’t like, well change it.
3. Recognise and learn to manage thoughts that do nothing, but limit what you are capable of achieving.
These are the things you tell yourself that don’t contribute to where you want to be. For every negative, there is a positive. Flip your thoughts and create your own confidence-boosting mantra.
4. This links with the above… watch your thoughts and words, Queen.
Don’t think, or say anything about yourself that you don’t want to become a reality. I know, easier said than done, but we all have the ability to train and shape our mindset.
5. Accept and take compliments with grace.
This took me a long ass time to master. I used to always find an excuse not to fully embrace a compliment and would brush them off. Instead of spinning a story like you are undeserving of the compliment, just say thank you – don’t add anything else. You’re being blessed with a compliment because whoever says it to you, feels you are worthy of it.
6. Be true and kind to yourself.
Don’t be afraid or shy about sharing your brilliance, say what you are good at. This isn’t about boasting or bragging, it’s about acknowledging and sharing your God-given gifts which we all have.